thebeautyholder

Redefining YOUR Beauty…


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I’m doing a Night Walk for Autism Awareness!

Hey Lovebugs!

I cannot believe that we are a day away from April 2016! One of my fave months for many reasons but one of the most important is because it is Autism Awareness Month!

Raising awareness about Autism is closest to my heart as my 13 year Sun(shine) is a young person with Autism.

On Saturday 2nd April 2016 we recognise World Autism Awareness Day, where we ask for your support by wearing blue! You will likely see the #LIUB (Light It Up Blue) trending as communities, groups, schools, famous buildings and people the world over light it up blue in support of raising awareness of Autism.

Autism Awareness Week is from 2nd to 8th April and there is lots that you can do to get involved from night walks to coffee mornings and so much more. I am doing the London Night Walk this year. I would very much appreciate your support. Here is a link to my fundraising page for Team #DaceyDash

https://nas-night-walk-for-autism.everydayhero.com/uk/donna-marie

If you’re able to support through sponsorship (we are so grateful) or by wearing blue we are truly blessed. Reach out to a family who you know is living with Autism. I’ve said before it can be a very lonely place and your call can make a huge difference!

Check out my other blog | www.ourautisticlives.wordpress.com | on Saturday for an update on how Dace and our family is doing now since you last heard from us. We can’t wait for you to read about our latest journey in our chapter!

Thanks always for your support!

Besos!

TBH and Dace!  xoxo

P.s. for any of my UK friends and family who want to walk with me it is not too late. It is on Saturday 2nd April 2016 t 11.30pm. Get at me for more info!

 


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So, I’m 40! Now what?!

Hey Loves,

I’m still on a blogging streak and I hope that you are enjoying the current posts populating your mailboxes. I know there have been through peaks and troughs with my blog but I am glad that you all have stuck with me. Please remember you can comment and share your thoughts on anything I post. I love interacting with you!

This is one of those posts I have been writing in my mind for a while. I don’t know why the thought of turning 40 brought about so much anxiety. Actually, I do know. It’s because for most of my life I have put unnecessary pressure on myself to have certain things done before 40 and not all of them have materialised. On my birthday,  I sat and thought…

So, you’re 40! Now what?!

So you’re not married, yet! So you haven’t had more children! You haven’t travelled the world and become the dancer you thought you would when you were little. You’ve been hurt by those closest to you. You’ve not got money like you once did. Blah, Blah and Blah once more. What I decided to say to all of that and the many other comments beating me with a stick over my head, was SO WHAT!!!

Yep! SO WHAT! I even said it to those people brave enough to comment on my life without knowing anything about me or my life. SO FREAKING WHAT!

It has taken me a while to admit it but I have had a wonderful life in many respects. It has not been without it’s ups and downs but I am grateful to reach the age of 40 and to have accomplished many of the things that I have done. I pretty much had my life planned out by 18 and expected to achieve certain milestones by 25, then 30, then 35 and 40 etc. What I have not done is acknowledge that even the smallest victories have shaped me. The toughest trials have moulded me and through God’s grace I have come out on top.

I have battled severe depression and self harming (which many may not know). I struggle with having a beautiful Son who is on the Autistic Spectrum and all that entails. I have had weight struggles for a large part of my life and have wanted to end my life. I have been betrayed by ‘friends’ and family. I am constantly judged. That is the shortened version. I say this to say that the life I had planned was not what God had planned. I now realise I had to go through this to become stronger and wiser.

So I am 40. I am a number older than I was last year and that number represents so much. It represents in part, my growth, my knowledge, my love and determination to continue to reach for the stars and beyond. To love hard and receive love in return. That my age doesn’t define me or my ability. It doesn’t define what others think of me or my life.

We have become so fixated with judging what we do not understand. If you haven’t lived it, how can you judge it? I may not have the level of success that you want me to have but it doesn’t mean that I do not have success. I may not be married but it doesn’t mean I do not have love or am in love. My Son may not speak but it doesn’t mean he can’t communicate his love in another way- which he does! 

Right now you may be going through something you don’t understand. It hurts and you want it to stop. IT WILL! You’re in a stage of metamorphosis. You are changing from your ‘caterpillar’ form to become the beautiful butterfly version of yourself that is stronger, wiser and more beautiful than you can currently imagine. Don’t give up on you. Don’t give up!

Enjoy life and your journey. Live your life and don’t let it live you. Make mistakes and learn from them. Don’t pressure yourself to react to what the world wants you to. Follow your heart and instinct…no one knows YOU like YOU!

I am blessed to have reached the beautiful butterfly age of 40. Many others have not been as fortunate and I refuse to let another day pass letting the past mistakes I have made hold me back from living a happier and healthier life. Age truly ain’t nothing but a number. A number that increases in health, wealth and strength!

Thank you for sharing this blog with me and on a more personal level some part of my 40 years. Here’s to many more for you and me!

If you are struggling with depression or self harming or anything else I have mentioned in this post. Don’t suffer in silence. Talk to someone you trust and let them help you. Here are some links you may find useful.

Help with depression: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/d/depression

Autism: http://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/asd.aspx

Anxiety and Panic Attacks: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/#.VrETtcdszEY

I also have a blog on finding confidence on your journey that has some tips if you are feeling anxious about things in your life. You can find out more here.

This post is dedicated to my pudding, Elle. I am always here for you. I love you! ❤ xoxo (p.s I have asked Elle if she is ok with me dedicating this blog to her).

Besos 💋

TBH! xoxo

 

 


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Since I’ve Been Gone! Update Post!

Hey Everyone,

I am kinda forcing myself to write this blog. Forcing myself to return to what I love doing because it is time. Let me explain. When I say forcing myself it is not because I don’t want to write it. I do. I want to show the Devil that he does not have any hold over me and I am strong and all the things I know I am. A little personal huh. There is more to this story.

Let me begin by saying ‘THANK YOU’. I have been a little overwhelmed with the messages from people asking if I am ok. If I am returning to blogging and saying they missed my blog. That truly does mean a lot more than I can say. I went quiet. No new posts, no Facebook page updates, no nothing. My social networking life was quiet. Those of you who reached out to me to check in gave me a boost and from my heart to yours, thank you.

If you are  regular to my blog, you will know I have an amazingly cheeky, smart and funny Son. He is also Autistic and begun a transition into puberty at the beginning of the year. This has presented a huge challenge for him and our family as he has struggled with communication which has led to even more challenging behaviour. This has made it more complicated as he is due to begin High School in September and we have been in the process of finding the best placement for him.

I said to a very good friend recently that I felt like a broken record telling them the same thing over and over again and so I just began to withdraw. The struggle for me seems to be that it can make me very low at times and I can not see the positives. Thing is, if I look at him I can see the positives because his smile along with his strength and real push to talk and communicate are positive moves that he is making in a world that finds it hard to understand him. The road ahead is not clear, straight or easy but we are getting ready and so is he.

I also had a very bad experience with a natural hair salon that knocked my confidence for six. Felt like I was being hit at every angle but I was always good at baseball and now I am hitting them balls back out the park.

Forcing yourself out of a comfort zone, rut, self-pity is very much mind over matter at times and if you start small you will be surprised at how far you can go. I know this is not going to work for everyone but I am giving it a try and I am blessed to have some amazing people behind me who support me without giving it a second thought.

So what does this mean? Well, lets just say that little notification to say I have posted a new blog should be ringing a little more often on your phone or PC. You’re likely to see my gap-toothed selfie self (really, DM) all over the place again. That is already in operation, LOL. Recent make-up movements and all that good stuff! Some of the posts were written previously but I didn’t get round to publishing. I will be pushing myself to get back on track and more importantly in control cause the Devil is not gonna win!

I will be updating my Son’s blog, Our Autistic Lives, soon with more about his transition to puberty and more. If you want to learn more about Autism then please check it out.

Thank you for being with me on this ride and patient for my blogs. I may not be as traditional as the usual beauty blogger but hey, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Besos!

TBH! xoxo