thebeautyholder

Hey Loves,

This post has been written prior to the new year but you may indeed be reading this in 2022, so ‘Happy New Light‘ to you and your loved ones. May you be enriched with happiness and purpose this season. I am blessed and grateful for all that I have learned this year, even when I didn’t fully understand the reason. Each lesson is a blessing… trust me I am trying to make sure I remember that, especially during those trying times. I truly am thankful for my family, friends, health and life 🙏🏾

Much like the year before, 2021 has been a period of change, uncertainty and learning for me. Some of the lessons, I have seriously resisted and ignored but God continued to challenge me to feel and dig deeper. I spent a lot of time, (and I mean a whole of lot of time) in mental and emotional spaces that were not serving, helping or uplifting me. I continued to give my all to others, running on empty for most of the year and it took a health scare to seriously make me take notice. In no particular order here are three invaluable life insights that 2021 taught me:

I don’t have to be strong all the time. There were many times that I felt overwhelmed this year. From family life and work stresses to university challenges and more, I slipped back into an old default position and simply pretended, I was ok. Honestly, sometimes I was ok, those were the times when I trusted God and all HE has said. But there were more times than I wanted to admit that I was not ok. I refused to let anyone see me struggle, hurt or cry. As someone who has dealt with severe depression in the past, I spent a significant part of my life, crafting a facade that all was well, even when it wasn’t. But this year, certain things came to a head and I just couldn’t do it. I needed the harsh realities of life to remind me that I cannot always be strong for everyone else and myself at the same time. You can’t pour from an empty cup… as we are constantly being told, right? But just how do you fill your cup back up?

Be ‘intentional’ with everything in your life. And I mean everything! Your love, energy, time, dreams, goals. I know that may sound weird, how can you be ‘intentional’ about things, people etc.,? Well, I recognised this year that the times where I was more intentional or lead with purpose, I was happier and more present in the moment. An example, I intentionally curbed my interactions with social media. I simply go offline and it feels good. But when I am online, I am engaging with content that inspires and motivates me. Another example? I intentionally do not do any work related to my studies, or job on the weekend. That is dedicated family and self-care time. It is a purpose-filled intention that allows me to focus on what is most important. In previous posts I have spoken about this intention when it comes to people in your life, whether it be friendships or relationships, and removing any toxic energy and blockages that are dimming your light.

Believe God can, and you will! I doubted myself more than I believed in myself for the majority of the year and that was a bitter pill for me. I couldn’t seem to shake the imposter syndrome that I wasn’t good enough. There was not one specific catalyst for this feeling but rather a series of issues and let-down’s that knocked my confidence. Again, I was trying to control all aspects of my life and needed to take the advice I gave to others, believe God can and you will. HE can do it! HE can change your life and while he is still hard at work on mine, when I have given HIM my full trust things have taken shape. It is a process that has changed my mindset from thinking I am losing to realising I am winning. All that I have been able to accomplish this year is by HIS grace. The very fact that I am here is continued testimony to HIS grace and mercy. I still have a long way to go but every day is progress. One day at a time.

No life is without lessons, growth, ups and downs. It certainly isn’t going to be perfect and that is ok. We can be scathing with our own personal analysis and yet allow others to continually hurt us without consequence. We speak about ourselves with a venomous tongue often forgetting how deep those poisonous words can wound us and others. You do not have repeat and live in generational curses, be the one that breaks the chains. YOU CAN DO IT!

There were more than 3 life insights for sure this year and I hope to delve into it more in the coming year, that after all is one of my intentional goals… blog more because it makes me happy.

Peace out 2021, thank you for the lessons.

2022, I’m ready for ya! 🌱

Besos 💋 TBH xoxo

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